The Infertility Struggle and Hope
Updated: Oct 12, 2020
You are one of many who have come to these pages seeking hope. We hope these resources will give some light to you during this time. We have also included some personal thoughts from a local mom who has struggled with infertility for a long time. We hope that her words lift and inspire you.
"I have a long history with infertility. I went through 5 IVFs, several IUIs and said goodbye to 5 beloved pregnancies. I spent the better part of the past ten years in and out of fertility clinics, online and in-person support groups, fertility yoga classes and I poured over numerous "how-to" books. I felt so incredibly isolated and alone. I shied away from baby showers, baby announcements, Facebook on Mother's Day and many of my fertile friends. It is so difficult not to lose oneself in the days and months that pass without a positive pregnancy test and to not let cynicism becomes your best friend.
Failed cycle after cycle, medical test after test, after a dozen specialists and prayers that were sent to all corners of the planet, I found solace in knowing I wasn't alone in my journey. Through blogs, online and in-person support groups, I quickly found a safe place to air all of my woes, fears and plights. I became support for others and it felt good. I was part of a community of some of the strongest and most resilient women I had ever met. We were in the trenches together, cycle after cycle, loss after loss, triumph upon triumph. We knew each others insides and these women, some of whom I only met online, are, to this day, some of my closest and dearest friends. I finally made it out of the brambles and chaos of infertility, but I wear the scars of a fierce warrior proudly. I fought so hard for my son that was born April 2016 - naturally conceived at the age of 43. I had to dig in deep, leave no fear-filled stone unturned and I had to reacquaint myself with God and heal my body from all of the years of emotional and loss trauma. I worked to be healthy, really and truly healthy for me, regardless of the outcome of a baby. I needed my life back, I needed to trust life again.
I could not have arrived at this graceful place of surrender without the love and support of the community of "IF" women. If you are feeling alone, desperate, helpless, hopeless or tired, there are women like you, some who are just starting to try for a baby, some that have been down the rabbit hole for years, some that have chosen other paths to motherhood and some that have walked away from motherhood with their heads held high having fought the battle of their lives. You are not alone. Ever! Take comfort in knowing that the community of those who struggle to conceive is vast and wise. Please use these links as guidance to help you along your journey. My wish for you, for anyone who finds themselves at the mouth of the dark tunnel, is that you never lose sight of the light that will guide you through. Trust yourself and trust that your journey, though unique and very personal, will get you to where you need to be and may even inspire others."
With hope and love, Jes
Trying to conceive
Fertility and infertility info
Online support groups
The motherload of Blogs - about all things baby, loss, pregnancy, TTC, adoption, living child-free, etc.