• Rebekah Porter

Mommy Play Date Anyone?

Updated: Jul 17, 2018

Moving to a new place has its challenges. Some I anticipated and some surprised me. We moved from BelIevue (where we had lived for 11 years) to Nolensville. I worried about my kids making new friends and feeling happy in our new neighborhood. So, I arranged play dates and parties for them to connect and start new friendships. It worked really well. After a couple months, my house became a constant pass through for kids of all ages. It was fun to see my kids adjusting well.

After a little pondering, I realized that my kids had adjusted, but I had not. I missed my old friends and deeply wanted to give in and go visit them. It would be so much easier to keep the old friends far away than to make new friends here. In the end, I decided to suck it up and do the hard thing: make new friends.

The first thing I did was sit home and wait for all the amazing people that wanted to be my friend to knock on my door. Who wouldn't LOVE to have me as their friend? After a week of silence and waiting, I decided to move to plan B: I started inviting people over via text, facebook, or phone calls. Still, nobody wanted to come over and meet me. I contacted over 10 people. What is wrong with me? Do I have a disease because I moved in? Next, on to plan C: go to church where they would all love me and flock to ask me over. Church family has to include you, right? Wrong! The people were very nice at church, but they already had their circle of friends. Still nobody was calling and asking me to come be their best friend. Getting new friends as an adult is so hard!

I pondered on all the attempts I made to get new friends and why they did not work. I finally realized that my kids had friends because I (their loving mom) had worked to arrange opportunities to meet new friends via play dates. As a mom of kids, who is working to arrange play dates for you? I thought about sitting on the driveway curb with a sign saying" Friend Wanted. Will pay $30". That idea seemed depressing and the rejection would be horrible if nobody took the offer. Do I just cold call random women, introduce myself and ask them if I can come over to play? That seems socially awkward. How do they politely say, "No"? Would they be forced to say "Yes" to be nice? That does not sound like the start of a good friendship to force my way into their homes. So, how does a stay at home mom make new friends? I don't have many opportunities since my day consists of sending my kids off to school and then maybe running an errand or two before I am back home waiting for kids after school. I have no real good chances of connecting with other moms.

After many months of depression and loneliness, I decided to go with plan H: PRAY. I asked God to help me find a way to make friends. He told me to be grateful for where He had placed me and to accept that I was fine. The next thought was that there are playgroups for moms. They are disguised as play dates for our kids. Genius! I joined a Facebook group in Franklin. Our first activity was open gym. I took my little boy and we went in hopes of making new friends. Finally, my idea was successful. I was meeting new moms in a socially acceptable way. I now had an avenue to have new friends and I was excited.

Recently, one of my new friends came over and challenged me to pray for best friends. That idea blew my mind. I should ask God for directly what I wanted? I do that all the time for other people, but never seem to get around to asking God for what I want. I know He is there and that He loves me, but does He love me enough to listen to me and bless me with what I want? So many fresh new avenues of thought to ponder. Whoa!

I am going to accept the challenge and pray and learn. I believe and hope to have new best friends soon. My daily prayer is now, "God, please send me Best Friends. I need them so much." I wonder who God will send to be my best friend. Maybe it will be you! I can't wait.

kids doing gymnastics

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